January 10 on 10

The first few weeks of this new year has brought a lot of cuddling,

hot coffee and lounging in our pajamas.

We got our first snow today as well, so even more reason to stay in and cozy up.

Last year I didn't do so well with keeping up with 10 on 10, but this year am hoping to be able to capture these moments every month.

1. Enjoying coffee in my pajamas and the sunshine on my face at 6 am

2. Baby trying to help make my bed

3. breakfast before church

4. Austin enjoying his very first ever, cinnamon roll

5. Reading over 2 Chronicles 5 from the message at church that morning

6. Noah using me to play Peek-A-Boo with Austin

7. the first snow flakes of the year on our front deck

8. Asher extactic about all the snow

9. Organizing new fabric 

10. Helping the boys put together a 1,000 piece puzzle

Of Pancakes and Prayers

The boys and I are full of pancakes and prayers this morning as we cuddle up during reading time on the couch and watch through the front door, the soft rain float down. The sun is still shining and glistening on all the hundreds of little drops in the air, making them look like crystals falling from the sky.

I always feel thankful for a rainy day here and there because I have found that it puts a force in me to stay home in my pajamas and slippers, drink that second cup of coffee and put off the errands. There are always days needed where we could stay home and enjoy the quality time of one another.

I look back to when the big boys were just little boys and how we lived precariously day to day, enjoying this or that. We had no agenda, just the whim of whatever the day brought to us. My, how I miss those days! Now there is school, basketball games, playdates etc. I don't mind and I love this aspect of mothering, but I often do miss those days where all is quiet and calm. 

My husband often jokes that he feels he's lived several different lives. I don't really think it feels so much as different lives as it does seasons. This is a new season for me, but I am immensely enjoying it. I feel really good, I feel really thankful. Last year was a year of questions, concerns and unanswered prayers, but in time; His perfect time, those prayers were answered, God saw us to a place that He knew would be best for us, those concerns were left in the dust of our faith in Him and our questions were all answered with His divine answers. 

My husband is away in Iowa for 12 days and the boys have their first basketball game this Saturday. Austin has four teeth now, going on seven and I have been quietly sneaking into my happy place every evening crafting and sewing and working on a few secret sister projects at church. My heart right now is in Iowa, but I am so thankful to God for giving me this life...life is definitely good!

A week full of Thankfulls {2016}

As I sit here going over all of my notes and jotted down reminders of to-dos and dreams for this new year, I am reminded this morning of this verse and feel pricked in my heart to make better use of my time this year.

I know that God has given me a great task in my life and my priorities are to see that these boys grow up to be disciples for Him. To love Him, serve Him and share His word with the world.

I want to use my time this year to saturate myself in the word for I have found over the years that it is God's holy word that shapes and molds our hearts into serving and loving hearts for Him and His people.

One of my favorite things to do is to take every day, ordinary, day to day things and find beauty in them. Find joy. Find something to be thankful for.

I want to pass this on to my children this year.

My word for this year is Eucharisteo which means thanksgiving+joy. Thanksgiving that creates joy in the Lord! 

I want this and need this in my life, like I want and need coffee. 

Last year drifted by like clouds in the sky, and this year I feel will be no different but am loving the concept of taking each day at a time and finding all the lovely in it, in hopes to bottle these joys up throughout the year and watch them glow from within our souls. 

I hope that by really looking into God's word, I am able to see a difference even in myself and the boys by the end of this year of how it has changed us in our ways of thinking and feeling and doing.

I don't often blog as I would like to, but I am also keeping my fingers crossed in hopes that this new year will allow a little extra space in the day for me to hide in a corner and jot down a few things here and there. I find myself really missing this little corner of the world and all the precious friends I once shared it with. All the inspiring encouragement from other beautiful women who also share this mothering journey with myself.

Homeschooling, and mothering four boys, one of which is not walking or talking and who's favorite spot is anywhere where there is body contact with me, forces these extracurricular passions of mine in the back seat.

But so thankful that over time it is still always here, just waiting patiently for me to come in and type down whatever is on my heart at the moment. That is the beauty of this little space of mine.

Because it's not every day you turn 5 + March 10 on 10

March 3 at 3:31 pm you turned 5 years old and no matter how many times I run this across my mind, it just doesn't seem possible.

I love your laugh, your cute heart breaking grin that stretches across your entire face from ear to ear. Those big forget me not blue eyes.

I can't even get mad that your eyelashes are way longer than mine. I love your tender hearted-ness and I know you are always going to have a sensitive soul.

I love our morning cuddles and conversations and how you are just becoming so independent. 

You're about to become a big brother after being the fend-for-yourself little brother for five years now, but...you'll always be my baby, my little Ash, my morning coffee + chocolate milk date.

Happy birthday to my sweet boy!

Now for a little March 10 on 10 + a few more to boot...

just a quick photo shoot of my love and I as we ventured out in the snow for a quick grocery run

A morning with Him, learning of His word, seeking His truth..

cuddles and footsie with a cute little five year old

My sweet Ryder about to lose his SECOND front tooth, making him "toofless"

Oatmeal cookies and reading

My precious nephew, Liam looking adorable as EVER..

Ready and waiting for Austin. Bags and suitcase is packed and now to just hold this sweet baby of mine in my arms, finally!

Morning before church and my heart skipped a beat after witnessing this moment. There's nothing that brings me more joy than seeing my little guy look up to that big guy there...

Looking so adorable on a day outing with mom

A little Mom's eye view of the birth day boy's place setting

Looking forward to many moments the rest of this month...many of which being the birth of my fourth son, the arrival of Spring, March lillies, and being off work for 12 weeks!!

"I Have Found the One Whom My Soul Loves..."

I am almost positive that my husband doesn't read my blog, in fact I don't know if anyone does for that matter, but whether or not anyone reads these little jotted down thoughts of mine, there is something about documenting them in this little corner of the world that I have, that makes me feel like I am bottling these moments of mine up; savoring them and not letting go of the way each moment made me feel. I can be reminded of all the goodness, the many blessings, the days of happy as well as the bad times in my life. I can think back on thankfulness for those times that ultimately will shape who I am one day. My husband, whom I am closest to in life will probably never know every thought that plays in my mind or feeling that skips across my heart, but looking at this picture of the two of us, I hope he always knows how much my heart spills over now that he is a part of it. 

I just happen to consider myself the luckiest lady on planet earth to have his hand to hold, to share his last name and to spend my every day side by side with him, talking, planning, laughing, dreaming....

My soul has found it's "soul mate" if you will.

{est: 10/25/2014}

But first the inside...

The proverbs 31 women is noble, brave, courageous and strong because her identity is found in her King who is the author and picture of nobility, bravery, courage and strength. 
She has been misunderstood and judged as a women we are to compare our lives to (and never measure up). Uncovering who she really is reveals a women who fears God and her actions overflow in loving obedience and service to her King. She is a sinner saved by grace and she knows who she is and where she is.
She's not a list of to do's to be done or a mold we need to fit into. She is a gospel picture of a life made brand new by the washing of the blood of Jesus Christ. Because her savior, She is a women who lives with eternity in mind and purpose in her steps. My heart longs to have this picture of grace painted in my life as a women who loves the Lord!

::

As I was elbow deep in sudsy water, washing dishes and thinking in my mind as I cleaned from the inside out of my favorite coffee cup that was once full of old coffee from that morning, a simple, yet piercing thought came to mind: 

I am like this coffee cup of mine. The old coffee, bitter and cold that made its residue mark on the inside was being made clean and like new. The inside of that cup, much like the inside of the cup of my heart is full of old gunk and residue. Every day. It is full of thoughts that portray a more negative, ungrateful side. Emotions that are birthed from selfishness. Attitude that is derived from a lack of compassion.

I am not proud of who I am some days. As a wife and a mother I feel as though I am so worried about being perfect. Being the best mother, being the best wife, that I miss all the opportunities to just be as good as God intended me to be. Our attempt at perfection only leads to failure. 

Because those attempts become obsessions and those obsessions become a blinding spot that keeps us from seeing the most important of all things. The cross. The glory and the grace. The love of our father. The promises that He bestowed upon us. When we miss these important models in our lives, we fail at accepting what He is handing out to us.

I don't want to miss those sweet blessings from my father all because I am so fixated on me me me. I want to bless and be blessed. I want my husband to see a heart that is molded and shaped by His hands. I want children to look to me for wisdom and understanding when seeking the truth. I want a heart of gratitude and thanks giving, so that joy is abundantly produced and spread. I want to be an example of His hands and feet, to those around me.

So each day I am asking Jesus to simply help wipe away the residue within. To "create in me a clean heart...and renew a right spirit within me," so that my mind and my heart can be in one accord in doing His will and being that women with purpose that He created for His kingdom!

After putting the coffee cup away back into it's spot in the cubbard, I couldn't help but to fill an abundance of His loving grace. Grace that is rescuing me from myself. How thankful I am for a God who's mercies are new every day and is working with me every moment of those days. 

It is like breathing for the first time, when realizing that even when my eyes becoming more fixated on things of this world, of my little world in my little mind, He is always there to forgive me and help me see ways to look up and see what is MOST important. Thank you Jesus for that. 

After this thought passed like the suds in my dirty dish water, I continued on draining the water and spraying the sink down. I feel a smile peel across my face as I watched all that is unclean disappear and new and shiny is all that is left.

"First clean the inside of the cup and dish and then the outside will also be clean." 

-Matthew 23:26

February 10 on 10

                                

Top Photo: Morning bible study

Selfie before heading to my baby shower

My boys all snuggled up early Saturday morning before breakfast, games and fun

Rock family we painted over the week

Pretty painted pictures by my boys

Asher wearing his favorite boots (just like dad's he says)

Made heart shape french toast baskets for the hubby and I 

My view from the kitchen ( a room I spend a lot of my time in these days)

working on pillow covers and other projects

Sipping on rasberry leaf tea