Because it's not every day you turn 5 + March 10 on 10

March 3 at 3:31 pm you turned 5 years old and no matter how many times I run this across my mind, it just doesn't seem possible.

I love your laugh, your cute heart breaking grin that stretches across your entire face from ear to ear. Those big forget me not blue eyes.

I can't even get mad that your eyelashes are way longer than mine. I love your tender hearted-ness and I know you are always going to have a sensitive soul.

I love our morning cuddles and conversations and how you are just becoming so independent. 

You're about to become a big brother after being the fend-for-yourself little brother for five years now, but...you'll always be my baby, my little Ash, my morning coffee + chocolate milk date.

Happy birthday to my sweet boy!

Now for a little March 10 on 10 + a few more to boot...

just a quick photo shoot of my love and I as we ventured out in the snow for a quick grocery run

A morning with Him, learning of His word, seeking His truth..

cuddles and footsie with a cute little five year old

My sweet Ryder about to lose his SECOND front tooth, making him "toofless"

Oatmeal cookies and reading

My precious nephew, Liam looking adorable as EVER..

Ready and waiting for Austin. Bags and suitcase is packed and now to just hold this sweet baby of mine in my arms, finally!

Morning before church and my heart skipped a beat after witnessing this moment. There's nothing that brings me more joy than seeing my little guy look up to that big guy there...

Looking so adorable on a day outing with mom

A little Mom's eye view of the birth day boy's place setting

Looking forward to many moments the rest of this month...many of which being the birth of my fourth son, the arrival of Spring, March lillies, and being off work for 12 weeks!!

"I Have Found the One Whom My Soul Loves..."

I am almost positive that my husband doesn't read my blog, in fact I don't know if anyone does for that matter, but whether or not anyone reads these little jotted down thoughts of mine, there is something about documenting them in this little corner of the world that I have, that makes me feel like I am bottling these moments of mine up; savoring them and not letting go of the way each moment made me feel. I can be reminded of all the goodness, the many blessings, the days of happy as well as the bad times in my life. I can think back on thankfulness for those times that ultimately will shape who I am one day. My husband, whom I am closest to in life will probably never know every thought that plays in my mind or feeling that skips across my heart, but looking at this picture of the two of us, I hope he always knows how much my heart spills over now that he is a part of it. 

I just happen to consider myself the luckiest lady on planet earth to have his hand to hold, to share his last name and to spend my every day side by side with him, talking, planning, laughing, dreaming....

My soul has found it's "soul mate" if you will.

{est: 10/25/2014}

But first the inside...

The proverbs 31 women is noble, brave, courageous and strong because her identity is found in her King who is the author and picture of nobility, bravery, courage and strength. 
She has been misunderstood and judged as a women we are to compare our lives to (and never measure up). Uncovering who she really is reveals a women who fears God and her actions overflow in loving obedience and service to her King. She is a sinner saved by grace and she knows who she is and where she is.
She's not a list of to do's to be done or a mold we need to fit into. She is a gospel picture of a life made brand new by the washing of the blood of Jesus Christ. Because her savior, She is a women who lives with eternity in mind and purpose in her steps. My heart longs to have this picture of grace painted in my life as a women who loves the Lord!

::

As I was elbow deep in sudsy water, washing dishes and thinking in my mind as I cleaned from the inside out of my favorite coffee cup that was once full of old coffee from that morning, a simple, yet piercing thought came to mind: 

I am like this coffee cup of mine. The old coffee, bitter and cold that made its residue mark on the inside was being made clean and like new. The inside of that cup, much like the inside of the cup of my heart is full of old gunk and residue. Every day. It is full of thoughts that portray a more negative, ungrateful side. Emotions that are birthed from selfishness. Attitude that is derived from a lack of compassion.

I am not proud of who I am some days. As a wife and a mother I feel as though I am so worried about being perfect. Being the best mother, being the best wife, that I miss all the opportunities to just be as good as God intended me to be. Our attempt at perfection only leads to failure. 

Because those attempts become obsessions and those obsessions become a blinding spot that keeps us from seeing the most important of all things. The cross. The glory and the grace. The love of our father. The promises that He bestowed upon us. When we miss these important models in our lives, we fail at accepting what He is handing out to us.

I don't want to miss those sweet blessings from my father all because I am so fixated on me me me. I want to bless and be blessed. I want my husband to see a heart that is molded and shaped by His hands. I want children to look to me for wisdom and understanding when seeking the truth. I want a heart of gratitude and thanks giving, so that joy is abundantly produced and spread. I want to be an example of His hands and feet, to those around me.

So each day I am asking Jesus to simply help wipe away the residue within. To "create in me a clean heart...and renew a right spirit within me," so that my mind and my heart can be in one accord in doing His will and being that women with purpose that He created for His kingdom!

After putting the coffee cup away back into it's spot in the cubbard, I couldn't help but to fill an abundance of His loving grace. Grace that is rescuing me from myself. How thankful I am for a God who's mercies are new every day and is working with me every moment of those days. 

It is like breathing for the first time, when realizing that even when my eyes becoming more fixated on things of this world, of my little world in my little mind, He is always there to forgive me and help me see ways to look up and see what is MOST important. Thank you Jesus for that. 

After this thought passed like the suds in my dirty dish water, I continued on draining the water and spraying the sink down. I feel a smile peel across my face as I watched all that is unclean disappear and new and shiny is all that is left.

"First clean the inside of the cup and dish and then the outside will also be clean." 

-Matthew 23:26

February 10 on 10

                                

Top Photo: Morning bible study

Selfie before heading to my baby shower

My boys all snuggled up early Saturday morning before breakfast, games and fun

Rock family we painted over the week

Pretty painted pictures by my boys

Asher wearing his favorite boots (just like dad's he says)

Made heart shape french toast baskets for the hubby and I 

My view from the kitchen ( a room I spend a lot of my time in these days)

working on pillow covers and other projects

Sipping on rasberry leaf tea

A Week of Being Thankful

And before I knew it, a week had gone by like the wind in the trees! I am not sure what it is exactly that keeps me so occupied, perhaps those three cute boys of mine, or that amazing man I'm married to...which brings me to my 3rd day of Thankfuls:

We're having a baby boy! After anxiously walking into my 20 week appointment, we were told that he looks perfect! Even more of a reason to be thankful. His picture all dressed up in the cutest of bow ties, makes him look so adorable. We can not wait to meet him and hold him, kiss him and introduce him to the world.

The rest of my week consisted of family time and becoming an Aunty to the most adorable little guy in town; Liam Hudson. So in love with this sweet baby boy of my proud sissy and Will. My week full of thankfuls were chalked full of Liam's cuteness

More pictures to come later...

30 Days of Thankfulness...and finding JOY

Somehow the first day of November vanished...or did we just skip right over the first and dive right into the second day? Well, anyhow..somehow or another, I have missed it, perhaps by being consumed in daily tasks, such as the pile of laundry imitating Mt. Everest, or the many photo sessions I have been trying to quickly catch up on, or the three boys who were beyond excited to run around in disguises and possess owner ship of an excessive amount of candy on Halloween. I look forward to November and have now, for many years associated this month with the reminder of all the blessings in my life that I should be thankful for. In an attempt to record the things that are bringing me joy in my heart this year, I hope to share my daily thank fulls with you, blogger world and seeing as I am still pondering how I could so easily miss the first day of this month, I will go ahead and talk about two things that I am very much thankful for:

Day 1 of Thankfulness:

Yesterday, I was thankful for the opportunities that I, from time to time, am given to be alone with God. Just to talk to God, to meditate on the things that are in my heart, on my mind, and knowing that he is listening, knowing that he is concerned and knowing that if I am quiet and listen, He will supply my heart with the answers. Maybe not right away, but in His perfect timing.

 My boys spent the day with their granny and my husband spent the day working with his dad on the farm, so I was left at the house alone, to do whatever it was that my heart desired and my heart desired to talk to God. I have been particularly mindful of the fact that as of late, I have had such a negative attitude toward certain circumstances that we have been faced with...I feel God wants me to find more joy in the things in my life. Even the bad, or not so pretty things. I have realized that all things good AND bad in my life are all a part of God's plan for me. I don't understand it and I may very well not like some of it, but I am trusting that He knows what is best for me. In high school I clung to this verse, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I clung to this verse because I knew what it meant. It means that God knows the plan, and we can rest assure that even when we don't have a full understanding of the things that he places in our lives, we know that it is for the good of those who love Him. He isn't out to harm us or to bring us misery, he's out to bring us prosper, give us Hope and a future! My hope is in Him for the future I know is at my best interest. I trust my God and I am finding it easier to find JOY in all things at all times because of this said truth. Another verse that I love and cling to is Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. IN all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path." 

This tells me that my understanding is not capable of being compared to God's understanding, in my circumstance and that if I TRUST Him and acknowledge Him in everything he will direct me to where I need to go. The mere fact that we don't always even have to understand it all, as long as we have faith that He knows what is best for us. Gosh, my heart rests assured in knowing this..

Day 2 of Thankfulness:

I am thankful for my husband. As cliche as it sounds; you've probably heard this a thousand times, but I am! I am thankful for such a wonderful man. We haven't been married very long, but our marriage is strong, our relationship is solid and I find comfort in knowing that I am secure with him. I am his best friend and he is mine. I am finding it so fortunate that I get to be his "help mate!" That we have such a strong connection and are in this battle of life together; side by side, on the same team, on the same page. He is my one in a trillion. He is my home and safe place. I love his faithfulness and commitment to me and I am THANKFUL that God allowed us to find one another.

I love taking time out of each day to really ponder on what my heart is thankful for. It makes me realize that I might take some of the things that I take notice in at the moment, for granted throughout the rest of the year. 

What are you thankful for?

But I think I Love Fall Most of All

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."

-Anne of Green Gables