But first the inside...

The proverbs 31 women is noble, brave, courageous and strong because her identity is found in her King who is the author and picture of nobility, bravery, courage and strength. 
She has been misunderstood and judged as a women we are to compare our lives to (and never measure up). Uncovering who she really is reveals a women who fears God and her actions overflow in loving obedience and service to her King. She is a sinner saved by grace and she knows who she is and where she is.
She's not a list of to do's to be done or a mold we need to fit into. She is a gospel picture of a life made brand new by the washing of the blood of Jesus Christ. Because her savior, She is a women who lives with eternity in mind and purpose in her steps. My heart longs to have this picture of grace painted in my life as a women who loves the Lord!

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As I was elbow deep in sudsy water, washing dishes and thinking in my mind as I cleaned from the inside out of my favorite coffee cup that was once full of old coffee from that morning, a simple, yet piercing thought came to mind: 

I am like this coffee cup of mine. The old coffee, bitter and cold that made its residue mark on the inside was being made clean and like new. The inside of that cup, much like the inside of the cup of my heart is full of old gunk and residue. Every day. It is full of thoughts that portray a more negative, ungrateful side. Emotions that are birthed from selfishness. Attitude that is derived from a lack of compassion.

I am not proud of who I am some days. As a wife and a mother I feel as though I am so worried about being perfect. Being the best mother, being the best wife, that I miss all the opportunities to just be as good as God intended me to be. Our attempt at perfection only leads to failure. 

Because those attempts become obsessions and those obsessions become a blinding spot that keeps us from seeing the most important of all things. The cross. The glory and the grace. The love of our father. The promises that He bestowed upon us. When we miss these important models in our lives, we fail at accepting what He is handing out to us.

I don't want to miss those sweet blessings from my father all because I am so fixated on me me me. I want to bless and be blessed. I want my husband to see a heart that is molded and shaped by His hands. I want children to look to me for wisdom and understanding when seeking the truth. I want a heart of gratitude and thanks giving, so that joy is abundantly produced and spread. I want to be an example of His hands and feet, to those around me.

So each day I am asking Jesus to simply help wipe away the residue within. To "create in me a clean heart...and renew a right spirit within me," so that my mind and my heart can be in one accord in doing His will and being that women with purpose that He created for His kingdom!

After putting the coffee cup away back into it's spot in the cubbard, I couldn't help but to fill an abundance of His loving grace. Grace that is rescuing me from myself. How thankful I am for a God who's mercies are new every day and is working with me every moment of those days. 

It is like breathing for the first time, when realizing that even when my eyes becoming more fixated on things of this world, of my little world in my little mind, He is always there to forgive me and help me see ways to look up and see what is MOST important. Thank you Jesus for that. 

After this thought passed like the suds in my dirty dish water, I continued on draining the water and spraying the sink down. I feel a smile peel across my face as I watched all that is unclean disappear and new and shiny is all that is left.

"First clean the inside of the cup and dish and then the outside will also be clean." 

-Matthew 23:26